A fresh take on “Show, don’t tell”: information density

TL;DR

“Show, don’t tell” is best understood as an information density problem. This may occur when a character’s words and actions overlap too much. By reducing how much information stays verbal, and partially offloading it to behavior, props, or reactions, you create more natural scenes, add suspense, and open space for character expression. The goal isn’t less dialogue, but lower information density per line.

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Traditional “Show, don’t tell” demonizes dialogue too much

But “telling” isn’t necessarily the problem. Sometimes, the problem is when the character says and does the same thing.

The fresh take on “Show, don’t tell” is to classify the “Telling” problem as one of too much information density in dialogue.

The following tip helps you reduce information density by strategically choosing how much of the verbal information (telling) should stay verbal versus be offloaded to the physical action (showing).

This balances dialogue and action instead of pinning them against each other. A more natural flow of information happens, and you find moments ripe for character expression instead.

Reducing information density by 50%

This reduction means cutting what’s literally overlapping between said and done.

Charlotte: “How are we getting to the gold mine?”

❌ Steve: “Here, I’ll show you on the map.”
Steve pulls out a map with a plotted route.

✅ Steve: “I’ll show you.”
Steve pulls out a map with a plotted route.

Reducing information density by 75%

This reduction means cutting the overlap and most filler words.

Charlotte: “How are we getting to the gold mine?”

✅ Steve: “Here.”
Steve pulls out a map with a plotted route.

Reducing information density by 100%

Omit the whole line and let the action do all the work.

Charlotte: “How are we getting to the gold mine?”

✅
Steve pulls out a map with a plotted route.

Reducing information density by 200%

By “200%” I mean you flip the purpose of the line on its head, and treat it a behavioral action beat instead of an information-sharing beat.

Doing this opens up opportunities for suspense and character expression.

Suspense

These options ultimately provide the same exact information (that Steve has a map with the route), but adds a micro moment of suspense between saying the line and performing the action. Steve is emoting rather than sharing.

Charlotte: “How are we getting to the gold mine?”

✅ Steve: “That’s the tricky bit.”
Steve pulls out a map with a plotted route.
//
✅ Steve: “Hold on to your hat.”
Steve pulls out a map with a plotted route.
//
✅ Steve: “It’s not safe… but it’s fast.”
Steve pulls out a map with a plotted route.

Character expression

And these let Steve show some attitude:

Charlotte: “How are we getting to the gold mine?”

✅ Steve: “You thought I came unprepared?”
Steve pulls out a map with a plotted route.
//
✅ Steve: “Watch and learn.”
Steve pulls out a map with a plotted route.
//
✅ Steve: “You tell me.”
Steve pulls out a map with a plotted route.

Example from another dialogue snippet

Charlotte: “I can’t believe this. I refuse.”

❌ Steve: “You want a cigarette?”
Steve slides a cigarette across the desk.

✅ Steve: “Want one?”
Steve slides a cigarette across the desk.
//
✅ Steve: “For the nerves.”
Steve slides a cigarette across the desk.
//
✅ Steve: “I know that look.”
Steve slides a cigarette across the desk.
//
✅ Steve: “Your hand’s shaking.”
Steve slides a cigarette across the desk.
//
✅ Steve: “I know you quit… but what the hell.”
Steve slides a cigarette across the desk.

Too much “telling” dialogue is an opportunity to invent dynamic scenes

Sometimes you don’t have this clear-cut action, like with the earlier map example. Rather, you have half a speech that’s pure information the audience might need to know.

This is typically a sign of expository dialogue, which often happens in early drafts.

This is an opportunity to invent dynamic scenes

To resolve expository dialogue, you may have to invent the action from scratch.

This always makes the scene more cinematic.

Let’s expand from the earlier example, pretending that your first draft of the scene went like this (Steve doesn’t have a map yet):

First high-density draft:

Charlotte: “How are we getting to the gold mine?”

❌ Steve: “We follow the base of the mountain, hug the canyon wall, slide down the slope. Then we gotta swim across the shark-infested waters. FAST. Once we hit the beach it’s a smooth hike across the field to the gold mine.”

As dense as a black hole.

Do we really want Steve to blab about his plan to Charlotte?

Do we really want Charlotte to sit there and listen like a puppy?

If we instead reduce the Telling’s information density by shifting more information towards the ‘showing’, we actively involve both characters and the audience.

Revised low/medium-density draft:

Charlotte: “How are we getting to the gold mine?”

✅ Steve: “That’s the tricky bit.”
Steve pulls out a map with a plotted route.

Charlotte’s finger traces the dotted red line.

Charlotte: “I think I get it. The base of the mountain… the canyon wall.”

She does a double take, and scoffs.

Charlotte: “You gotta be kidding? There’re sharks there.”

Steve: “Pretend they’re goldfish for all I care. Just kick and wave ‘til you’re ashore.”

She points to the big green field on the map after the water.

Charlotte: “And from there?”

Steve: “A smooth hike until the gold blinds you.”

If you do a rewrite like this, you’ll also get ideas for new scenes. In this example, it’s tempting to create a preceding scene where we see Steve have a lightbulb moment, and pick up a map and red marker.

Then we cut to the scene with Charlotte, where Steve enters with a cocky smile on his face.

Information density checklist

Use this when revising dialogue that feels wordy, obvious, or expository:

• Is the character saying and doing the same thing?

• Is any part of this line redundant with the physical action?

• Can part of the information be:

• shown through movement, props, or environment?

• delayed until after a trimmed line to create a micro-beat of suspense?

• Would the scene improve if 50–75% of the verbal information were offloaded to action?

• Can you flip the line to demonstrate behavior instead of sharing information, letting the action speak for itself?

• Does reducing verbal information create room for:

• character attitude?

• subtext?

• conflict or reaction?

• Is this dialogue explaining something the audience could see or figure out visually?

• If this is expository dialogue:

• can the information be revealed through interaction or props instead of a speech? Do you need to invent a new setup scene for this change?

• can the scene be restructured to make the information emerge naturally?

Rule of thumb

If a line feels “necessary but boring,” try to redistribute part of the information.

Dialogue doesn’t need to say less, it often needs to carry less information per word.

➡️ Try our Fix Writer’s Block tool to get hand-picked writing drills targeting your self-described blockers (plus, it’s cheaper than a sandwich).

➡️ Check out the full Fix your dialogue guide [COMING SOON].